September 14


The Miserable March to Perceived Perfection

We all find ourselves, at some point in life, completely focused on who we really are, versus who society thinks that we should be. This really bothers me... why can’t we just be US, the good, the bad and even the ugly? We are all so unique and have a plethora of things to offer. It is so sad that too often we think of our true selves as being boring, weird, not good enough and awkward.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Although these thoughts about ourselves have been around since Adam and Eve, I truly believe that social media and societal status have both played huge roles in the tremendous downfall of our belief in ourselves.

Now, I am not knocking social media, because it does have so many benefits and positives that come out of it, but we must be careful and guard ourselves against the negative impact that now plagues the 21st century and our current generations.

It has amplified the possibility that we will view others people's lives as being lived perfectly, and it makes us sit back, analyze and think way too much about our lackluster individual stories and character. We sit back and wonder how anyone could possibly like us for who we really are inside. We worry about what people could possibly see in us that is positive, when all we see and feel about ourselves is negative and "not good enough", compared to what we see online, over and over.

We are constantly bombarded with viewing other peoples lives as “appearing” perfect and put together. This engulfs us and leaves us feeling lost, empty and honestly inadequate within society. With so much “success” around us, how could we offer the world anything good? If we stay just as we are, why would someone want to get to know us, see us as successful, motivating or inspirational and fun to be around?

We are constantly bombarded with viewing other peoples lives as “appearing” perfect and put together.

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We feel as though we must fight our true selves and reformat our individuality into what society views as a successful, perfect and fun person. We actually go out of our way to NOT be ourselves! To not show the weaknesses or characteristics that we have been blessed with that make us who we are. We cover up the person that we falsely believe is "bringing us down" and the person that we believe no one would like, or who people would identify as not normal or weird (see my weird blog post).

We slowly try to remodel ourselves into someone else by fabricating a facade that we think others cherish and find attractive. This places us in a repetitive series of compromising our true core values, dissolving true relationships and completely losing our true identity in the passionless process.  

And we do this all for what?! A poor attempt at making ourselves a new and improved person based on what we believe other people collectively think?

We, as a society, have done a fantastic job at creating a culture of insecurities, negative self-images and falsities. When we try to be and develop this new “ideal” person, we soon find out that it is not the joyful life that we signed up for or ever wanted in the first place. Our values and beliefs are gone. We soon realize that we have lost our true selves and what makes us unique and special within society.

Is this what we truly wanted? To reach the pinnacle of the people we see on social media who seem to have it all together? Who has it all… the perfect body, family, job or life? 

Social Media:  where society loses a special and unique individual and gains a robotic, unhappy, unfulfilled person.

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Are we truly satisfied, content and successful now? Absolutely not, but only because we have lost ourselves in the sacrifice of something so ultimately false. Society loses a special and unique individual and gains a robotic, unhappy, unfulfilled person.

We all have two sides; the people we truly are and the people that we pretend to be. It is a constant battle between the two, and it is a battle that will last a lifetime unless we are willing to change the negative pattern and behavior. We must fight long and hard to prevent this battle; we must persevere in order keep who we really are.

We all have weaknesses, we all have areas to improve upon and skills that we need to fine tune, but are you willing to keep your true self alive and well in the process of self-improvement? This is not an easy battle, but keeping the core of who you really are is worth every bit of the pain, suffering or temporary feeling of being "left out".

Keep your passions, values and goals - they don’t need to change, because you are beautiful and amazing just the way you are!

Let's Love More!

Alissa Nelms

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