Not everyone loves a good cup of tea and biscuit, just as you and your personality are not for everyone. Not everyone is going to like you or be into you, and while that is sometimes a very hard pill to swallow, it is a topic that surrounds us daily. We have to accept that we were not born to please everyone, and I don't believe that is how God created us to be. The sooner we can accept this harsh reality, the better off we will be in our day to day interactions with people.

Just like everyone’s taste buds are different, so is everyone’s preference for the people they like and the personalities and traits that they can get along with. You may be the nicest guy in the world or the most stunning woman around, but no matter what... someone, somewhere is not going to like you. Those around you can and will find something they don’t like about you or something that is “wrong” with you, and there is absolutely nothing that we can do to alter this perception.

We were born to be ourselves, unique and special in our own ways. If we offend, upset or others dislike us, that is ok. It is our job to live out our purpose in this life.  Being real and genuine is part of that, and not everyone will agree or like this about us. We shouldn’t mold ourselves or change our personalities just so others will like us or accept us...

No ma’am, we are wonderful the way we are! Pretending to be otherwise will take us straight to a dead-end road of frustration and heartache.

We all are blessed with an individual personality and for this reason; we are all different and unique. No amount of change or fakeness will change this black and white truth. I have tried and continue to fall into the rut of attempting to put other people’s happiness before my own, and honestly, it is a daily battle for me. Time and time again, I fail, feel defeated and upset for days afterwards. I love to please people and ultimately love seeing them happy and successful, to a dire fault. It is something that is a great trait to have, but only if it can be channeled and used in the right direction and in the correct situations.

Trying to kiss up to people and please them in any way possible will always produce a negative outcome, no matter what popular belief might be. This train of thought will ultimately lead to disaster and leave you with a wounded self esteem in the end. Loaning out your self esteem to others is never the right answer; trust me, I have and continue to learn this the hard way almost on a daily basis.

Giving your self esteem to others will only leave you down in the dumps and degraded in the end, when all you do is attempt to make others happy. The reality is that the attempts will never be successful and will end up in only negative failure. Who wants or needs that in today’s society?! Not me. Trust me, it is always better to upset someone by being yourself than to open Pandora's box, which leads you to low self-worth that tends to hold on with a tight grip for days and weeks afterwards.

Keep in mind that we are all flawed and are not perfect, and the solid truths are that we can’t please everyone.  We can NEVER do EVERYTHING “right”, and we can not EVER make everyone happy! This is my daily struggle, and it is never a good struggle to have. I am flawed in this way and honestly it is what makes me ME and something that - if channeled in the right direction - can even make me GREAT! I am not everyone's cup of tea, and I have to acknowledge this and be ok with it.

So, should I be myself no matter what? Absolutely! There are over 8+ billion people inhabiting this earth, and I am just one woman that just can't please them all. I just need to accept this solid truth and get over it.  I need to be myself, and those that like me for me, will, and those that don’t, won’t, and that is amazing!

Life and relationships may never be fair, but that is certainly part of what makes life interesting.

Let's Love More!

Alissa Nelms

Alissa looking away